8. How to have a good relationships

How to love a good relationship

We should already know that to have a good relationship with someone, we firstly have to have a good relationship with ourselves. So assuming that we are “OK”, and the relationship we have with another show strain, how do you go about repairing it or making it better?

There are ALWAYS three people in a relationship; you, me and us, unless you are posting on Facebook or YouTube! We are just looking at “me” for a moment.

Whatever is annoying us about someone or a situation is a reflection of ourselves…..  People and events mirror in us what we need to deal with in ourselves. What is evidently annoying you in another is often the part of you that needs to be looked at; be it abandonment, self hatred, worthiness, resentments, struggles to name a few. These sticking points are all part of the tapestry that make us who we are.

We have actually become our own collage of emotions from our past, things that have not been dealt with and each and every frustration we experience in our life is a sign post to look at what is really happening and or what has happened to bring us to where we are today.  

Unknowingly, the laws of attraction will play an enormous part in your relationship with others. You can fight this theory and never learn, or in order to be happier; take a view to reserve judgement and surrender to the thought; that we have co-created the situation to either learn from or not to earn from. The problem is that we just did not realise it.

Not learning, or not being open enough to not wanting to learn will only delay the understanding that everything happens for a reason. Subconsciously we are tuned into self help – in that we attract people and incidences into our lives in order to learn – so what is the point of fighting it?.

So you may as well face it, until we learn what our patterns of behaviour and thinking are nothing will change. So just as in Groundhog day we will repeat the same pattern in our relationships (or our lives) until we do learn!

To break your cycle of relationship destruction, you need to stop running away from pain. It is often the wounds or scars from the past and has very little to do with what is going on around you today.

Meditate on your future happiness and have the courage to stop repeating destructive patterns.

Try looking to your patterns of behaviour when you are hurt. Are you able to name the feelings that you feel rather than accept that you were just angry or very annoyed or irritated….?

What behaviour patterns do you adopt? Shout, run away. Sulk, don’t speak, blame? Be honest with yourself, when hurt do you act like you did years ago as a child? Ask yourself this: are you behaving like you or are acting out as your inner child?

And that perhaps is the crux of relationship management. Are you repeating old patterns from the past rather than living your life to full in the present, without pre-set behavioural fears?

When we do not live in the present and are not “Being”, we are not living in a place of love. Without being with love we live with our past fears, negative life experiences and attract those situations to remind us of how we live our lives “in the past”. Relationships are the perfect venue to play out our fears and neediness from our early years.

How often do you blame the other person? “It is all their fault” – “I am blameless”. This type of thinking gives away your power and reinforces victim consciousness where everyone is to blame but yourself. A relationship is about 3 people, remember? You, me and us.

Take responsibility for your actions, your complicity and take control, so the emphasis is not just about the other person, it is about what they and you have asked for the “us” to learn. 

When the high emotions of drama have ebbed away you can take an honest dispassionate view of events or what happened with that person. When what happened does not hold a strong emotional charge, then you can take a step back and look at what part you and they were playing in the drama.

Our operating system/ our self construct – self esteem - was set a long time ago by our past experiences. To have better relationships we need to be reset and our negative behavioural patterns will change as a result.

Many of us carry unmet needs from our past. A simple way to look at the past is draw a timeline.
         
        Birth      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  Death

Ask yourself where you think you are on that line?  Look to your early years near your birth; in your childhood what made you fearful?

There could be just one event that springs to mind or many. It is not so much the situation that matters but the feeling you have associated with them. The feelings attached to the situation are often fear based. The emotions evoked by “that” event or situations should guide you to what happened to you and “made you” who you are today.

Here are a few clues as to how that situation all those years ago perhaps made you feel:

·        I don’t matter

·        I am not worthy

·        I have nothing worthwhile to say

·        I’m not valued

·        I am invisible

·        I’m not lovable

·        Something is wrong with me

·        I’m not OK

·        I’m a disappointment

·        I am not good enough
·        I am powerless

The early hurt may have set your pattern of behaviour from that point until today. Unfortunately, one other law of life is that the majority of people have an inner programme of “I am not good enough” and that flaw in the self esteem is often reinforced by the events that we attract into our life.

With that feeling of low self esteem and any one (or all) of the feelings associated with your childhood like the one’s listed above – you may just begin to understand why you have been struggling with relationships!

Now, this where things get clever but in a simple way.We either live with “love” or not.

When we don’t live in our present with love, we tend to live in our childhood thoughts of victim consciousness. It is that victim hood that we play out everyday. The law of attraction is quite adamant about his, you will attract situations and people into your life to play out that victim role until you learn the secret of living in the moment.

Fortunately, the BeMethod uses the power of emotional release to rid the mind and body of past emotions allowing you to be in the NOW without the baggage of the past. Without the past influencing your actions in the present you are able to have healthier and happier relationships.

The added benefit of releasing you from your past victim consciousness is that it allows you appreciate that everything can be turned around, no matter what.

You will be able to live with gratitude and just “Be”. In fact, you will learn the lesson of “BEING”;   Be in Gratitude, and your rewards will be beyond your imagination………

For more information about improving your Wellbeing & Health then please contact us through BeMethod http://bemethod.co.uk/contact.html

Namaste

7. Blockages to being in the present

BeMethod - blockages to being in the present

You’ve heard of the “Power of Now”, being in the present, live for today, “Just Be”…. .?

There is a very good reason that so many people are looking to the present or rather live in the now. It is because they do not want to live for deferred happiness in the future and importantly, they do not want the past to hold them back from “just Be-ing”. No past influences and no future expectations will result in you living in the present - a much happier existence.  

The negatives from our past create difficulties in our everyday life today. The negative feelings, events, emotions are usually very deeply rooted and more often than not manifest themselves in our adult lives as fears, anxieties, illnesses, phobias, depression, anger, guilt, indifference, confusion, sadness and more….… …much more.

We are all products of our past, but we often lack the tools and experience to deal with them.  

Our upbringing, our ancestral past, peer judgements and values, race or religious doctrines are probably the biggest influences or codes that formed the programme or operating system that we work from on a day to day basis today. As such, it can be a flawed programme.  

To be in the “NOW”, it is necessary to re-programme ourselves, and reprogramme the “bugs” that we picked in our youth, that currently impede our progress forward. At first, being in the present is not always easy because it means looking at what is emotionally painful, but once you begin savouring the sweet taste of true happiness, you can learn what the blockages are and change your whole energy system - you can become a new YOU. And you can do it any age!

Of the memories of our past, some are remembered and some are not. There are 3 primary categories of self defence mechanism that the brain will use to hide away the emotions that, usually, created our blockages that prevent us from living in the present:

1.                  Repression

2.                  Suppression

3.                  Projection

BeMethod looks at each area to find the hidden emotions that are the clues to the bigger picture as to why you are not being able to live in the present. We will look at your life’s timeline, and using universal love energy, will unravel the emotions that block you from enjoying your life to the fullest. Sometimes it is quick, sometimes it takes a little longer… but the joy of feeling free of the past, is something to be savoured…

I look forward to working with you here in Finsbury Park

Contact us Bemethod.co.uk or via http://bemethod.co.uk/contact.html

6. Wellbeing

Wellbeing

What does wellbeing mean?

n. a contented state of being happy and healthy and prosperous 

What does heal mean?

v. healed, heal·ing, heals 

v.tr.

1. To restore to health or soundness; cure. See Synonyms of Cure.
2. To set right; repair: healed the rift between us.
3. To restore (a person) to spiritual wholeness.

v.intr. – To become whole and sound; return to health.

I help people to self heal, to heal themselves to improve their wellbeing. Using the bodies natural "repair" system, the imbalances that had impeded recovery are speedily dealt with in order for the body to be returned to wellness. 

Wellness is another word for balance...The symbol of the yin yang blending together represents balance… and how often are we out of balance in our modern world? Too often for my liking!

“Everyone has a purpose in life . . . a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” Deepak Chopra, M.D.

I love that quote; it is as if Deepak wrote that for me. It has become my mission statement. I revel in the pleasure at helping people help themselves and becoming happier for it. 

I have been fortunate in the last 10 years to sort out a lot of my “imbalances" (blockages), not all and probably not most, but enough for me to live my life in the present and to be happy. 

I have found out why many enlightened people have said how powerful we are. I have found out that it is true, we are amazing people but sometimes it takes a lot for us to actually see and believe it.

It has been a small struggle for me to shake off my past mistakes, or just my past; their heavy weights sometimes dragged me back or even down - they had a very strong pull. Using many different processes I cut the weights away, and now I feel confident to be here, I am happy in myself, and sometimes inflict that happiness on others!

When you are in balance, you are "whole", you are returned to health. Your wellbeing is good. To be happy, really happy within, you do have to be balanced and whole.

Helping improve wellbeing is what I do with my students, my workshops and individual clients. I help them to BE whole, Be better, Be bigger, Be balanced and Be in the Present.  So maybe you can understand  why I call the process; the BeMethod.

With the right energy,  the right direction, and the right motivation you can really "heal yourself" (thanks to Louise Hay and her book) and I can help you on the way. The BeMethod is ideal for sports injury recovery, on its own, or part of a psysiotherapy regimen.

The BeMethod can provide you with all the tools and assistance for you to have a better life. This is the time to trust yourself; to change, to let go of preconceptions and prejudices, to let go of your fears.

The BeMethod helps provide you with a blank canvas from which you can live your life to the fullest, to help you achieve the balance and the wholeness we all want in order to Be happy.

Easier said than done? No, it is easy, surprisingly easy. If you are prepared to help yourself and you have read this far, then it is a real posibilty that you really do want to have a better life. Get in touch.

Every thing is possible; if you can dream of being happy, then you have already begun the process.

Visit us at http://www.bemethod.co.uk

Namaste

5. Health recovery

From general aches and pains, recent and long term, to general ill health, the BeMethod amplifies the body’s natural ability to self-heal bringing the body back into balance and greater wellbeing appreciatively faster than allowing time to heal yourself.

Visit us at http://www.bemethod.co.uk

4. Sports injury recovery

Exponentially speeding up the recovery process when the usual injury recovery processes have been unsuccessful or too slow; the BeMethod enhances the body’s natural ability to self-heal bringing the body back into balance and greater wellbeing.

Visit us at http://www.bemethod.co.uk

3. Corporate wellbeing

The BeMethod creates smooth operational communications by eliminating the friction created by individuals that impedes progress. Blending trusted Western and new Eastern philosophies into the workplace, a new culture is established allowing both the individual and organisation to thrive. The process enhances the Wellbeing of individuals and establishes a new dynamic corporate personality.

Visit us at http://www.bemethod.co.uk

2. Personal wellbeing

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The BeMethod provides personal growth by breaking down the blockages and demotivators that inhibit us from living our lives to the full or just prevents us from being happy. Achieving a state of wellbeing is not as hard as it sounds.

The journey begins with a simple principle. Yes, a simple look to understand the basis of how to live our lives as effortlessly as possible, with the objective of living a balanced, happy and fulfilled existence. Sounds easy, but actually it is…

Visit us at http://www.bemethod.co.uk